Previous Part: Underground

Storyline text and attempted translations from...

Final Fantasy IV

パブ 「ラリホー!」  Pub "Lali-Ho!"  Cecil Yang Rosa Cain Rydia  Cafe HOWDY!

Semi-hidden between the weapon and armor shops, a doorway leads to this mostly abandoned pub. A single tipsy dwarf is the lone occupant.

みんな いくさだとかで ちっとも のまないー!
オレ いくさより さけ だいじー!
Everyone's on about war an' won't drink none!
Booze matters more to me than war!
Let's dance, lali!
Let's party!
Let's dance, Lali!

At least that explains why the pub is otherwise abandoned.

The dwarf dances an awkward spinning dance that does nothing to help his condition.

ますます まわってきたー!
これが ほんとの よっぱラリー!
Everything's spinning more and more!
This's REAL drunkenness, lali!

And in the English and EasyType versions, that's all that's here. However, in the original Japanese version, a passage through the wall next to a dirty spot on the floor leads to a hidden flight of stairs...

かいはつしつ  Development Room  Cecil Yang Rosa Cain Rydia

This area is still here in the DS remake, though the developers themselves are replaced with the remake staff and have vastly different messages. The battles here are similarly drastically changed. Talking to everyone makes an augment appear in the lower room.

The energetic music most often played when Cid is being productive serves as background to this strange place filled with a wide variety of unusual characters.

For this section only, I'm leaving the honorifics and other name-suffixes uninterpreted.

しんじん たなか しんいち
「つぎの さくひんからは プログラムを
 くむんだ。 みなさん よろしく。
 ‥‥はやく じぶんのつくえが ほしいなァ。
Newcomer, Shin'ichi Tanaka
: I'll be joining in the programming starting
 next production. Best regards, all.
 ...I really want a desk of my own soon...
(not present)
しんじん どばし いくや
「おねがいだー みのがしてくれえ。
 オレは なんにも ぬすんじゃいない。
Newcomer, Ikuya Dobashi
: I'm begging you, let it slide!
 I haven't stolen a thing.
(not present)
しんじん えんどう としお
「かたが こったヨー。
 めが いたいヨー。
 みみが いたいヨー。
Newcomer, Toshio Endou
: My shoulders're stiff...!
 My eyes hurt...!
 My ears hurt...!
(not present)
しんじん こいずみ きょうぢ
 はじめから なかったとおもえば きらくさ。
 そーですよね さかぐちさあん。
Newcomer, Kyouji Koizumi
: Heh... it goes easier if you pretend there
 was never a Golden Week to begin with.
 Isn't that right, Sakaguchi-saaan?
(not present)

Golden Week is a series of Japanese holidays at the beginning of May. The implication here seems to be that they worked right through it without a break.

ディレクター さかぐち ひろのぶ
Director, Hironobu Sakaguchi
: Let's do this...
(not present)
メニュープログラム あだち けいたろう
「へへっ らくしょーらくしょー!
Menu Programming, Keitarou Adachi
: Heh heh, piece of cake, piece of cake!
(not present)
マップデザイン まつむら やすし
「えるちょ ないとちゃん なおし ほしやさん
 くわはらかちょう ひさしぶり! どうしたの?
 ‥‥あれ? ひとちがいだ!? ヒヤー‥‥
Map Design, Yasushi Matsumura
: Eru-cho, Naito-chan, Naoshi, Hoshiya-san,
 Chief Kuwahara, long time no see! What's wrong?
 ...huh? I've got the wrong people!? Whoops...
(not present)
オイラは ドットやの タカだ。
でんせつのスーパードットやろうを めざしている。
たぶん このゲームが おわるころには
スーパードットやろうに なっているだろう。
I'm Taka the Pixeler.
I'm aiming for Legendary Super Pixel Guy.
By the time this game is done, I'll
probably be a Super Pixel Guy.
(not present)
グラフィック ほしの まさのり
「みんながたたかっている まものは
 きにいった まものがあったら おしえてね。
Graphics, Masanori Hoshino
: I drew the monsters you're all
 fighting. Let me know about
 any monsters you like.
(not present)
グラフィック たなか りょうこ
「わたしの さいごのさくひんとなりました。
Graphics, Ryouko Tanaka
: This will be my last production.
 Best regards.
(not present)
グラフィック なかだ ひろみ
 ‥‥といったわけで のこされた わたしは
 FFチームただひとりの ジョセイになって
 はげましのおたより くださいね!
Graphics, Hiromi Nakada
 ...and so, I'm left as the
 sole remaining woman on
 the FF team. Please send
 encouraging messages!
(not present)

おんがくしつ  Music Room  Cecil Yang Rosa Cain Rydia

The familiar Final Fantasy Prelude plays in this room.

サウンドエフェクト いとう けんじ
「FF クリアしたら
 せいけんでんせつも よろしくね!
Sound Effects, Kenji Itou
: Once you've cleared FF,
 give Seiken Densetsu a try!
(not present)

Seiken Densetsu, a Game Boy action-adventure developed as a Final Fantasy spinoff, went by Final Fantasy Adventure in North America and Mystic Quest in Europe (no relation to the SNES game Final Fantasy Mystic Quest). Sequels followed, starting with the game North Americans call Secret of Mana.

サウンドエフェクト うえだ あきら
「アキ ヤマさん タケモッチ シンくん
 カズくん ほかのみなさん みんなみてるかな?
 おとを いくつかつくったんだ。 またきてね!
Sound Effects, Akira Ueda
: Yama Aki-san, Shin Takemotchi-kun, Kazu-kun,
 and everyone else, are you watching me?
 I made a bunch of sounds. Come again!
(not present)
ミュージックコンポーズ うえまつ のぶお
「ンッ! そなたよくみると なかなかの
 おんがくてきししつを ひめておる。
 わしがなんばんとらいの くーらりねっとを
Music Composition, Nobuo Uematsu
: Mh! On closer look, you harbor quite
 the musical disposition. Shall I teach
 you to play the clarinet that early
 European traders introduced to Japan?
(not present)
サウンドプログラム あかお みのる
 さァって なにしようかなァ。
 やはりワクワクするには アレがいちばんかな!?
Sound Programming, Minoru Akao
: Phew...
 Now, what to do...? Maybe THAT
 would work best for excitement!?
(not present)

かみんしつ  Nap Room  Cecil Yang Rosa Cain Rydia

The Tower of Prayer music plays down here.

メインプログラム なりた けん
「もうイベントは ついかしないでくれー!
 もうバグは みつけないでくれー!
 ちくしょー だいがく やめてやる!
Main Programming, Ken Narita
: Don't add any more events!
 Don't find any more bugs!
 Dammit, I'm quitting college!
(not present)
{ローザ}に {リディア}ってのか。
なかなか イイおんなじゃねえか。
オレが ちからになるぜ!
ときた たかしが なかまになった!

ここは もうイヤだー!
{Rosa} and {Rydia}, right?
Them's some good women.
I'll help you out!
Game Designer
Takashi Tokita became a companion!

Please... take me with you!
I can't stand it here any more!
(not present)

Of course, he doesn't actually join the party, even though the fanfare plays.

There's also a memo on the wall:

アップまで ゲームきんし! No games until update! (not present)

And in the bookcase, with its own unique fanfare, the one, the only (actually not, since Katsuhisa Higuchi also drops them), the infamous...

エッチなほんを みつけた! Found Lewd Magazine! (not present)

A joke item, it can be sold for 290 gil, or used from the menu. Using it causes the party / lead character to look around nervously, then tints the screen pink, plays the Calcabrina intro music, displays a message, and that's it.

『ドキドキ してきた‥‥! 『I'm feeling excited...! D

Accusations that the Lewd Magazine and Nintendo's strict censorship policies were responsible for the removal of this area in the North American release are almost certainly false. The area was also removed from the EasyType, which had no such concerns, and more importantly, these versions both have a vastly expanded tutorial area that does not exist in the original version. In all probability, removing the Development Room freed up space for the new tutorial center.

Development Room—Random Encounters  Cecil Yang Rosa Cain Rydia

A number of developers also appear as random encounters in the main room. Fortunately, they tend towards joke battles, and the encounter rate is quite low. Still, it pays to be careful all the same. Any of the seven following developers may appear as enemies...

ひぐち かつひさ (Katsuhisa Higuchi) appears as a Bomb. As an opponent, he takes only 1 damage from most attacks, but does nothing until hit physically. At that point, he gets indignant...

「バトルプログラマーを なぐるとは! : How dare you hit a battle programmer! !
「このやろー じばく してやるっ! : Why you... I'll Self-Destruct on you! !

...and uses Self-Destruct, inflicting a single hit point of damage since he only has 2 to begin with. Victory is worth 50 gil, no experience, and a Lewd Magazine.

There are a few ways to avoid the counterattack. Why bother, though?

いとう ひろゆき (Hiroyuki Itou), one of the battle designers, appears as a puppeteer. As an opponent, he expresses irritation at being disturbed...

「なんで おこすんじゃ いいとこじゃったのに : Why'd you wake me? It was just getting good. !
「つづきを みるとするか‥‥ : I think I'll go back to dreaming... !

...then casts Sleepel on himself, and the battle ends prematurely (even if the spell missed).

It's possible to kill him if anyone can act and do enough damage quickly enough, though he's only worth 10 (total) exp and 5 gil.

まつい あきひこ (Akihiko Matsui) appears as a floating tiny person. Wikipedia lists him as a battle designer for this game. As an opponent, he starts by casting Library on a random character and making snide remarks...

「まだまだ あおいっ! : You're still callow! !

That first line only seems to appear if Library misses, which only rarely happens.

「おれの ステータスをみなよ : Check out my status! !

...then casts it on himself, which displays his single hit point and weaknesses to Flame, Ice, Thunder, Holy, and Projectiles. Additionally, the following messages also display as though part of the spell result:

てつやに よわい Weak against all-nighters !

This could also be taken as "Weak against Tetsuya", possibly Tetsuya Takahashi, below.

めがねの おんなのこに よわい Weak against girls with glasses !
さっぱり よわい Just plain weak !

He's rather shocked by this...

「こんなはずじゃ‥‥ : That can't be right... !
「こんなぼくを なぐるなんて!? : You would hit someone like me!? !
「うわー ゆるしてーっ! : Waah, spare me! !

...and runs away.

It's also possible to kill him if you're quick enough, though he's only worth 5 (total) exp and 10 gil.

あおき かずひこ (Kazuhiko Aoki), one of the battle designers, appears as a soldier. As an opponent, he just talks for a bit...

「おれの とくいなバイオリン ききたい? : Want to hear my skill on the violin? !
「ききたくない‥‥ : You don't... !
「あっそう‥‥ : Oh... !

...and then the battle ends prematurely.

It's possible to kill him if you can get enough attacks in quickly enough. He has 10,000 hit points, though, and only gives 100 (total) exp and 150 gil anyway.

なかだ ひろみ (Hiromi Nakada) appears as a lamia. As noted above, she worked on graphics. As an opponent, she changes the music to Fabul's and opens with the following line:

「さあ だれからいくの? : Now, who's first? !

She then does nothing for several turns unless someone damages her (typically an insignificant amount due to her extreme defense), which she counters with a Slap and an insult:

「へたくそっ! : Pathetic! !

However, the battle is interrupted before long.

マネージャー「ひろみさん ごしめいです Manager: Hiromi-san, I have a task for you. !

At this point, she dies, leaving 500 (total) exp and dropping a Maiden's Kiss (changed to a Panacea in the English and EasyType versions even though the battle goes unused).

You could also win through damage by using Toad or Porky to prevent her from using the suicide skill, except that there's no real point to it.

よしい きよし (Kiyoshi Yoshii), one of the battle programmers, appears as an ogre. As an opponent, he just talks for a bit...

「こんど ぱぱになるんだ はァん : I'm gonna be a daddy, haahn. !
「いいだろ : Isn't that nice? !
「じゃあな はァん : Bye now, haahn. !

Those are heavy breathing noises, I think.

...and then the battle ends prematurely.

It's theoretically possible to kill him. He has 65,000 hit points, though, and only gives 20 (total) exp and 10 gil anyway.

たかはし てつや (Tetsuya Takahashi) appears as a doll. According to Wikipedia, he was involved in developing the battle graphics. As an opponent, he'll make threats for seven turns in a row...

「しぬぞ : You're gonna die. !

...then on his eighth turn, attack someone, most likely inflicting 9,999 damage (he has 254 attack power and gets 99 hits at 99% accuracy). His behavior then repeats. In addition to very high attack, he also has very high defense, making him nearly invulnerable.

Although you're probably expected to run away, you can beat him by using Poison and Bio (for the status effects), and defense-ignoring magic (like the Dragon summon). Defensively, cast Slow twice and either revive as needed or use Blink to keep his attacks from hitting. Debilitating status effects also help if you can get them to hit, especially the Toad or Minimum spells to cripple his attack and defense. Winning is worth 5 (total) exp and a Phoenix Tail.

...and now, back to the story.

Previous Part: Underground

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